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Please Buy This Book So I Can Feel Validated & (Finally) Love Myself | Homeless XOXO

Starts with a novella about an ex-boy with a rain cloud who meets an ex-girl with a rain cloud. The girl is delivering pizzas so she can eat at the Olive Garden. In the end, the pair end up in a cemetery. Which in my opinion is much better than Olive Garden. One time I ate at the Olive Garden when I was underage but they served me wine anyway. I weighed about 100lbs at the time and didn’t indulge in the endless breadsticks or pasta being served (I had soup if I remember correctly. Minestrone probably.) So afterward I felt sick because I drank too much because I was a stupid sixteen-year-old who felt fuck it, if they’re too lazy to card me then I’m drinking like a New Jersey housewife. If I’d spent that night in a cemetery with ice cream instead maybe I wouldn’t have such a violent distaste for The Olive Garden (doubt it but who knows?) So even though the point of the story was the girl trying to get enough money to eat at the Olive Garden and she failed, I still found the ending satisfying.

Then there were some poems that were mostly hilarious in their bleakness, plus well-written and kinda beautiful at times. There are also numerous references to Mcdonald's, so I figure that’s worth mentioning.

The book ends with a few short stories. My favorite is called “The Viciouses” in which Sid and Nancy are still alive and 91 years old living together in a little apartment. Elderly Nancy still wears leather pants and elderly Sid wants to have Pizza for dinner all the time but Nancy says No! He has to have a pot roast and vegetables. Then she feels bad for screaming at him and decides to order the damn pizza... In the end,

Sid worships her feet.

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